I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
