it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
