So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I will be naked everywhere
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
