6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
