Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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