I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
