well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
