I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
