You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
