Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
