That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Randomize
