He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
