I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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