Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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