Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
