My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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