Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She told me I should be a condom model.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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