Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
