i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
