I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
this boner is exhausting
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
