You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
