it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
