found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
That's intense
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
