Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
