Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
