i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
