Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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