worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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