I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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