she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
