Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
