Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
