There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
