Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
