he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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