whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
