in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
