I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
