I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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