I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
