my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
love makes seman taste better
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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