Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
