who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
