That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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