I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
