there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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