Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
