Ambien. No doubt about it.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
50% drunk capacity currently
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize