They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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