im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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