SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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