we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
there is glitter all over my balls
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