I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
