Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
