I can't watch pbs sober anymore
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
